


What it means to lose everything

by DRAgonpal



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depressed Tommyinnit, Did I forget anything?, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt No Comfort, I really am projecting on Tommy's character these last days lol, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Beta we die like Tommy in this, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Tommyinnit, Tags Are Hard, Why Did I Write This?, implied gaslighting, istg he deserves all the cuddles in the world, just like in canon lol, oh yeah, smp!dream is an ass in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28011612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRAgonpal/pseuds/DRAgonpal
Summary: What would happen when Tommy is at his end?What would happen if he figured out how much dream had been gaslighting and manipulating him.How would Tommy respond if Dream just confessed to all of it, without batting an eye and zero empathy for how Tommy felt?-----please read the tags
Comments: 9
Kudos: 228





	What it means to lose everything

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I had an idea.
> 
> This kind of turned into a one shot lol. But I all in all wanted to put an idea that I had into motion.  
> \-----  
> It's my first time ever writing a oneshot or something alike a fanfic so bear with me. I hope it turned out alright.

Tommy’s standing on a cliff in the nether. His back turned towards Lava. Facing the man that was responsible for this stabbing feeling in his chest.

Dream laughing at how stupid Tommy could have been to believe that he actually cared for him and even believing him to be his friend, when he from the start said that didn’t care about anything but his disks.

Telling him how everything had went like planned and ending with Tommy losing everything he ever cared about.

Tommy stared at dream.

A blank face, not revealing the war of emotions that is welling behind that mask of emptiness.

The feeling of loss

Despair

Hopelessness

Anger

Frustration

Heartbreak

Just to be followed by acceptance

It wasn’t warm nor cold, it just was  
It just left this deep hole in his heart which he knew could never be filled again.

He accepted that this was the end. He knew for a long time already actually.

He knew dream didn’t actually care about him. But, he held onto that little amount of kindness like a lifeline. Even if it wasn’t genuine

It was better than being alone with his thoughts.

He knew that all of this. Was his fault. He wasn’t that ignorant or naive. He would remind himself of that every night. Every time when the sun would go down and no one having come to logstedshire again.

He would go to the lengths of making it easier for death to come by sabotaging himself. Wearing no armor when going into the nether or starving himself.

Even though he knew that he didn’t even deserve the relief of death.

He would remind himself every time when he was to loud, to needy or to emotional. Of being to clingy and wanting someone to stay with him if the occurrence of someone arriving.

He would remind himself after they where gone going with a fast and simple apology like, that they’re to busy or that they have to go. Knowing very well that it’s just an excuse to get away.

He would remind himself by punishing his every being for wanting such stupid things that he does not deserve.

His poorly bandaged arms being a clear indication for that. With red spots going through the white of fresher wounds.

But it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.

A smile that did not quite reach eyes, tugged at Tommy’s lips as he stared at the other men. A single tear rolling down his cheek. Little glimps of emotion on the otherwise emotionless facade.

The green man automatically feels a chill go down his back as he looks at the picture in front of him. dulled out, tired but... determined(?) blue eyes...

Something’s here feels terribly wrong-  
“You know dream,” The boy said, a knowing look laying on his face

“I never understood you. I never understood why you wanted disks that don’t belong to you or have any meaning to you” he moved his head to glance down at the lava.

Calm  
He hadn’t felt this calm. This unending calmness for such a long time. Even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to remember when the last time was where he felt so at ease, with now knowing that it’s going to end. That everything is going to end.

“But I think I understand now.” The boy can feel the other watching his every move in a calculated, observing way. Just for those eyes to frown.

What is Tommy going on about  
“You’re wanting”  
Confusion makes itself known in dream’s chest, but before he could bring out a word, Tommy silenced him with a cold gaze that left the man speechless.

“You want, what I have or well,” a self-depricating chuckle disturbed the air of the nether, as he slowly took a step towards dream “what I have had.”  
“This Connection. The love and happy memories with I shared with people that I cared about. All of which represent the disks now. It’s not particular the disks that you wanted. It was the meaning of them.” He took another step

“And god damn how much you wanted them” a crazed look makes itself visible on the boys face, that has rests of old wounds blood and dirt on it, as he let out a quiet laughter “no, you craved them”  
Dream stood still. He didn’t think he could move if he wanted to. The frail body of the once cheerful and live filled boy now standing so close to him, made a feeling of discomfort grow inside him

Tommy laid a hand on dreams shoulder and leaned in right next to his ear “but you knew you could never have that, so you did everything in your power to rip it all of apart. And take it from me.”  
The child let of just to turn around and walk back to the lava “And you did!” Tommy giggled darkly, wiping away tears“Hell you fucking bitch even managed to make me believe like you cared for me or some shit. Giving me some kind of Stockholm Syndrom, or whatever it’s called”  
Dream was frozen in place, shaken to his core. And if he wasn’t this confused and slightliy terrified he would laugh at how fucking pathetic he is being.

when did Tommy get so intimidating-  
He glanced at the child that he has played so many games together with in the past, and suddenly noticed how prominent the layers under his eyes are, through the light of the lava reflecting on Tommy’s skin.

Facing eachother. They now are on seperate sides again, like always.

“But, you know how stubborn I am,” he fiddles in his inventory just to drop an enderchest in front of him.

“I never have been good at compromising or letting my enemy win that easily.” Suddenly two disks appear in Tommy’s hands.

How did he-  
But again he couldn’t even begin to start a sentence, with Tommy glaring him down like that. The amount of emotions (that he couldn’t even begin to name if he tried) that is swimming behind those dull eyes, from all those last months filled with betrayal and heartbreak. Just for all of that to be shoved down again, and turn into an empty gaze.

“Even at the end with nothing for me to lose anymore. And with these disks bearing nothing but a bittersweet memory of what once was”  
A playful smile tugs at his rather crazed expression as he took a step back towards the cliff, which would go straight down into an endless sea of lava.

“Of something you have hunted for such a long time already. And have risked everything for,”  
“I won’t give you that kind of satisfaction” the boy stood so far back on the cliff, that he knows if he moved just a bit, he definetly would fall.

“Because if I can’t have them. Then no one can, dream.”  
And with that being said.

The body of a young boy who has gone to early, disappeared into the endless sea of burning liquid.

And even though the air has been ripped apart with heartbroken screams of multiple people running out of portals screaming the boys name.

He was finally at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my best really.  
> And now I want Tommy to get all the comfort in the world.  
> But im bad at comfort and fluff so yeah-
> 
> I hope you still liked it though :)
> 
> Edit: Omg thank you all so much for the positive feedback and kudos! I’m really glad you all liked it! ♡︎


End file.
